Ask yourself these questions to figure out what’s working, reject what’s not, and move toward your best decade yet.
1. Does the way you spend your time reflect what’s important to you? Make a list of your top five priorities – marriage, children, volunteer work, and so on – and track how many hours you devote to each in a week. If any numbers are too low, recalculate your time budget so you can live according to who you want to be.
2. Does your Blackberry get more attention than your family and friends? Resolve to switch off your gadgets during private moments so you can nourish personal connections with complete focus.
3. Are you nursing a grudge or two? Let bygones be bygones, and free yourself from the emotions that weigh you down.
4. Who should be in your life? Phase out any so-called friends who offer only criticism and negative energy. Surround yourself with people you admire, who believe in you and want you to succeed.
5. Have you typecast yourself? You may cherish your responsibilities as a mother, but “Mom” is not the whole of who you are. Ask yourself if one role is draining all your energy, leaving other expressions of your authentic self unfulfilled.
6. What battle are you fighting? Is your husband really the one who’s letting you down, or are you blaming him for the pain of a past relationship? Are you doing what’s best for your kid, or are you parenting with a chip on your shoulder left over from your own childhood? Remember: You are not a prisoner of your legacy.
8. What are your goals? Define specific goals with measurable outcomes and assign yourself a timeline. Passion and will-power alone won’t cut it – you need a strategy.
9. Who is standing in your way? The answer may be you. Reject self-loathing and treat yourself with the kindness and respect you would show your best friend.
10. What one thing can you do for yourself every day? It could be as simple as finding 20 minutes to take a bath (my wife,
Robin, swears by that.) Every day is a new opportunity to pay attention to your own needs and make choices you feel good about. This decade, claim the right to minister to yourself.
- The Oprah Magazine, written by Dr. Phillip C. McGraw, PhD
Is there anything you would add to this list?